Real Girl In The City

Now like most women out there I can name my flaws better than anyone else.  I can tell you that my legs are to skinny or my face is to long or any number of other things depending on the day.  I tell you this so that the next comment I make doesn’t sound conceded:  I am a very attractive woman.  How do I know this you might ask?  Not because men have told me or because I have had so many dates and men just falling all over themselves to ask me out.  No I know this because of women.  Yes that is right; I said women.  And I don’t mean in any lesbian, bi-sexual way.  I mean good, ol’-fashion, straight up women.  I learned because when I walk into a room the people that turn around and look me up and down are women and they all have that some look.  The one that is pretty much calling me a B______ (you fill in the blank).

It got me thinking about why women can’t get along.  Why we are always viewing each other as competition or enemies or worst.  I have a friend who always tells people that before she joined her current job (she works with all women) the only think she thought female friends where for were being nice to your face and stabbing you in the back and stealing your boyfriend.  That was it and I know that there are a lot of women that agree with her.  But why?  I know that I haven’t always been the best friend and I admit that I have talked behind a back or two in my day but I have never intentionally hurt a friend or really an enemy.  Have I made a woman I didn’t like cry or even mad?  Well of course, I’m no angel after all.  But a friend, of course not, at least not to my knowledge.  Yet as a woman I am viewed at a threat by other women and why because I look a certain way or dress a certain way or carry myself a certain way?  I don’t know but I wish it would stop.

It would be easy to blame society.  To say that it is because the always show women fighting over a man or a job but in all fairness society has little to do with it.  If I saw my boyfriend out with another woman I wouldn’t start kicking her butt I would start kicking his.  She didn’t cheat on me.  She didn’t promise to love me or respect me or be faithful; he did.  Now it is a different story if you see your boyfriend out with your best friend.  Then you just kick every bodies butt.  The same goes with a job.  If there are two women up for a promotion and you went to No One’s Heard of it junior college and the other lady went to Harvard should you really be upset with her when she gets the job?  Think about it for a minute.  It’s not society’s fault that we view each other in a negative way.

When I see a woman walk into a bar or a restaurant I normally am looking at her clothes more so than her I have to admit (results of too many years in retail) but I also look at the looks that she gets from other women.  If she looks bad then it’s like they are okay with her and if she looks good then they hate her.  They don’t even know her and yet in that five seconds of sizing her up they have decided that they hate her.  How fair is that?  And what is sad is that you can see it starting in grade schools and middle schools and especially high schools.  I swear I will never understand why even in these younger groups a new girl can come into a lunch room and have to sit by herself but a new boy can come in and play a game of basketball or know the football score from the previous weekend and he is golden.  He becomes the stud of the school and the new jock and popular all in one hour long period all while the poor girl is looking around for someone just to notice her.  Is that society or is that us?

All I’m asking is that we learn that everyone isn’t out to get us or our man and if you were secure in your relationship and yourself neither should matter.  Learn to open up to other women and you never know what might happen.  The next beautiful woman that walks in and is greeted by smiles not leers might be you.  

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